By Courtney
Hate Me but Let Me Stay by Hijiki is our April BL Manga of the Month and our first Omegaverse! I was so excited to have representation from this niche on the calendar that I overlooked some important problematic elements that have nothing to do with the alternative universe. While this was a charming love story with a beautiful family and plenty of cuteness, it was also triggering and a bit troubling. If you haven’t read it yet and don’t want spoilers – stop reading and get back to this post once you’ve finished the story!
When we meet our main character, Naoto, a 21-year-old omega, we are quickly given the context for his small family and personal struggles. Naoto is a single parent to a daughter who was conceived through rape. He struggles to find employment due to discrimination against omegas but is determined to improve his daughter’s life.
Naoto is a male, and if you aren’t familiar with the omegaverse, this book actually gives a great primer on the dynamics right at the opening complete with an anatomy diagram. Omegas are the minor faction of society and release a pheromone that attracts Alphas and Betas, at least in this story, but the rules change from author to author. Because of this often unwanted attraction, omegas take suppressants and try to hide their “secondary sex.” Omegas can be male or female, and all of them are capable of becoming pregnant. Omega’s problems are often either cured or exacerbated by finding a “mate” who bonds with them and helps them naturally control their pheromones. The idea of a “fated mate” is introduced in most stories to describe a couple who is bound to each other and circumstances or fondness for each other be damned.
While these tropes are a lot to deal with if you aren’t familiar with this alternative universe, they have nothing to do with what I found personally challenging. I did not appreciate that the fated mate in this story recognizes Naoto as his soulmate at first sight but is still 17 years old and in high school. He is the aggressor, pursuing Naoto after he gains employment in a janitorial position at his high school. Although this is the dynamic, Naoto is still responsible for turning him down and waiting until he’s older and, hopefully, out of school.
That does not happen. The male lead, teenaged alpha Hazuki, is relentless in his pursuit and persuades Naoto that they are predestined to be mates. I have very little issue with men getting pregnant in fiction, the idea of secondary sexes, or the representation of human’s animalistic actions. I do, however, hate the idea that everyone in this story adheres to the notion that inappropriate age gaps are irrelevant if the pair is destined or fated. Hazuki’s mother is thrilled with the idea of him dating an older man, and Naoto’s mother supports the couple regardless of their age gap. Overall, while this doesn’t necessarily reek of grooming, it does romanticize teen pregnancy and age gaps. There is also no reason we as an adult audience need to see explicit scenes of anyone in high school, and this story so easily could’ve been set with Hazuki in college and does end with him there, not that it felt like that solved the issue.
The relationship in Hate Me but Let Me Stay straddles what is acceptable in fiction and verges on glorifying an ethically questionable age gap. I understand that age gaps like this are common in real life. My mother was 18 when my 40-year-old father knocked her up, and that is probably why I’m sensitive to any media that feels like it exploits or depicts a character of such a ripe age. I still loved this story, but I almost can’t forgive the author for not just aging the character appropriately to avoid this triggering and morally grey element.
What do you think? Am I being too harsh on the age gap and projecting my issues onto it? Or do you agree that any fiction with graphic elements should be limited to characters of age? By the end of the story, both characters are very much of age and have a child together. Does this, along with them being fated mates, fix the issue, or is there just no justification?
I hope you liked this introduction to Omegaverse! It is a genre strife with controversy, so it was going to be problematic no matter what. Listen to the podcast on April 5th to hear me go even further into the plot, characters, and dynamics! Subscribe to our YouTube if you enjoy the podcast in video format, and follow us on TikTok and Instagram to stay in the loop with all things Delusional Boyfriend Book Club! Until next time, remember that sometimes the delusion is the solution!
Yours in Deep Delusion,
Courtney